Limitations

My yoga instructor is amazing.  I don't get to yoga enough, but when I do, my yoga instructor, although she is super cooky and makes really funny comments all through out, she always sends me home with a short statement that resonates in my mind and helps me grow, change, and look at things a bit differently.  It's amazing and I am always so grateful.  Her statement this week was "approach your limitations with compassion".  

I've been reflecting on this since Wednesday night and so much has come to mind.  Compassion in regards to oneself sounds so peaceful, so wonderful...I, so it seems, do not have a lot of compassion for myself. My husband constantly reminds me..."give yourself some credit!"  I am, or at least have been in the past, so hard on myself mostly because I want to do so much and I usually can't do it all.  I have always wanted to do a lot, and still do, so when I think about limitation, frustration comes to mind rather than compassion.

Like I said, I want to do a lot, but more importantly, I want to be a lot to many people.  When I can't do what I want, I get frustrated. Yes, reading that statement sounds kind of childish, doesn't  it?  It's so true though.  We are all limited in a variety of ways, whether it is our job in the work place or at home, whether it is pregnancy or an injury, whether it is money or just our preferences, we are all limited by something that prevents us from doing something else that we would like to do.  I know this is true, yet I resist it. The thought of having compassion for these limitations sounds so nice and comforting to me.  One limitation that I have is that I am unable to see and/or keep up with my out of town friends and family.  I spend so much time trying to figure out when and where I can try to connect with these people and it frustrates me.  I think about it, I am sad about it, I am frustrated about it.   Because of so many different limitations, I cannot be near these certain people.  

Compassion in regards to this limitation seems to include an acceptance, a gratefulness, and a preservation of a significant amount of emotional energy.  If I could accept that I am limited because I do have two rambunctious boys who demand all of me almost all day, every day and at this time in my life it is going to be hard to be places, that would be compassionate.  If I could focus on what is on the other side of the limitation; the opportunities I am blessed with, although limiting, that would be compassionate. If I could use this energy to send loving and prayerful thoughts out to those I want to be with and can't, that would be compassionate.  Freeing myself of frustration and replacing it with compassion is a gift that I am going to try to give myself... starting now.  

EXHAUSTION

Exhaustion took on a new meaning the first time I had a child and then it took on a whole other meaning when I had my second child.  The more physically tired I feel, the more mentally and emotionally exhausted I feel. In my case, and maybe it's the same way for you too, when I am tired, life seems 100x harder than it actually is.  Situations that I normally can handle just fine, seem to be down right too difficult to cope with.

In my mind, when I am tired, everything seems to clump together and now I am not only trying to cope with the present moment, but all of a sudden, my mind is taking me to every seemingly stressful situation that I am anticipating to encounter in the not too distant future and now I am stressed about everything.  My husband calls it the snowball effect.  It starts out small, but in no time at all it's rolling down a hill, gaining speed, and by the time it hits me, it is a freaking snowman  :)  

I've been spending time trying to be more aware of what makes me tick in an attempt not to be so tick-able a.k.a moody.  I know that when I am tired, it is not the best time to have a loaded conversation or to talk about making future plans beyond what I have already mentally alloted energy towards.  However, in life, I can't necessarily push those things aside when I am tired, because the reality is, I am tired a lot.  Unfortunately, by the time my boys are asleep I am exhausted which happens to be the time when my husband and I finally have a chance to talk, plan, etc. 

What I am realizing more and more is that I spend a lot of energy resisting the idea of being exhausted on top of resisting the thought of doing certain things when I am tired.  For example, our dishwasher had been broken for months  (yes having a dishwasher is a luxury i am so grateful for, however...) and every night after cooking dinner I would first be thinking about how tired I felt and then I would spend time thinking about how the last thing I wanted to do was stand at the sink and wash dishes for however long it would take.  They wouldn't be fleeting thoughts, but rather they would play on repeat. The more I tried resisting them the more frustrated I would get and by the time I would be done with the dishes, I would be in such a bad mood. What a waste of energy! On the other hand, on the nights where I chose to sit down and take a break and recognize yes I am tired and yes I do not want to do the dishes, the dishes eventually got done and even though I was tired, I was not frustrated at the end of it and didn't waste that energy on thinking about it.  

To sum it up, what I seem to be learning is that it is OK to be exhausted, I need to just let it be what it is.  I strongly dislike carrying this cloud around with me, feeling and thinking about being exhausted.  I have decided that I need to begin coaching myself through some of these bad habits.  For some reason it comes easily to me when I run or  while I am working out.  If I am struggling at the end of a long run, I coach myself by saying: "It's ok to feel like this, you are not gonna die, you are almost done."  On the runs or during workouts where I am constantly looking at the clock or resisting the way I feel, they are, by far, much more difficult. There are too many times where I have let that exhausted state of mind take over and rule my mood, actions, and words.  I can't do that anymore, although I still do, I don't want to. 

For the times where I am so tired that all I want to do is scream or cry I will tell myself, It is OK!  It's OK to feel mad or frustrated and it's OK to be exhausted so there is no need to resist it.  In reality, as long as I am a mom, a wife, a friend, a daughter, an aunt, a sister, etc. I am sure I will continue to exhaust myself by doing as much as I can to make the people around me happy.  It just happens that motherhood is that much harder because your kids depend on you for so much and you can't give yourself the break you need.. so for the times when my children won't go to sleep and I am at my wits end whether it be at nap time or in the middle of the night, or when there is an hour of clean up left to do after an extremely long day, or when I don't sleep well, I just will remind myself that it's OK, I will and can get through this, and it's just a part of my life.  

 

Those reusable shopping bags need a washing!

This past month, research has come out stating that reusable shopping bags have not only been gaining popularity, but are also accumulating harmful bacteria. Who knew? It's been in the news, but I didn't hear about it until I was reading a Wegmans flyer that was sent to me in the mail. I am impressed that they included a whole blurb about the need to wash reusable shopping bags, of course while promoting their own bags, but regardless, kudos to Wegmans and thanks for the heads up.

Here is an article about it http://www.pennlive.com/news/patriotnews/index.ssf?/base/news/1279929305252500.xml&coll=1

Don't let this deter you from using those reusable bags. A little soap and warm water goes a long way. If you happen to be in the market for a new batch, I highly recommend Envirosax.

My sister got me a set for Christmas and that was by far my favorite and most practical gift.

They are super cute, they are lightweight, and they fold and roll up so they are easily and neatly stored where ever you like. They are different in that they are not bulky and they do not take up a ton of space. When folded they can be tossed into your purse or in your car door, so you never end up in line at the supermarket frustrated that you forgot your bags at home. Best of all, they are WASHABLE...washing directions are on each bag. They also fit a ton!

When to buy ORGANIC

It wasn't until I started feeding my son his first foods when I really became concerned about we were putting into our bodies. I was overwhelmed at first...Which foods should be organic? All, some, anything we could afford? I kind of just went with what was available until I learned about the Environmental Working Group (EWG) Dirty Dozen list which is listed above. This has been an extremely helpful tool for me when I shop for my produce. Sure organic foods can be more costly, but why not invest in our own health and the health of our young children? It may be one of the most important investments we could make.

Buying organic produce is not a trend, it is a necessity when it comes to the Dirty Dozen. I encourage you to print out or write down the Dirty Dozen list and bring it with you when you shop until you memorize it. If you have an I-Phone you can even download the Dirty Dozen and the Clean Fifteen App to your phone at www.foodnews.org

Recent research results about the harmful effects of pesticides on our health, particularly in children, is a motivating factor for me to feed my children organic produce. The latest research has found a link between pesticides consumption and ADHD. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/05/17/adhd-pesticides-in-fruits_n_578366.html

If research is already proving links between pesticide consumption and ADHD, I am sure there will be more findings in the future that will disturb us and reinforce our efforts to feed our children and ourselves organic when we can.