Whataya Want From Me?

Running usually provides me with clarity of mind, which is one of the reasons why I love it so much. I think about things that I usually don't have time to think about. I don't control my train of thought, it just flows and bounces from one thing to the next. The other day, as I was pushing the double jogger up a steep hill, Adam Lambert's "whataya want from me" was playing on my ipod. Up until that day, I loved this song because it made me feel empowered and I sang the lyrics as if shouting them to everyone in the world really feeling "What the heck do you want from me? No really, what do you want from me? I can only do so much, I can only be so much, would everybody just stop please!"

However, as I struggled to push my 80 + lbs boys up the hill, I heard the lyric and I directed the question at myself, "Whataya want from me?" Right then and there I realized that I am the only one who really puts the pressure and expectations on myself and what do I expect from myself? Of course, I expect a whole lot. I've spent so much time resisting the feeling of other people wanting things from me, but i have slowly figured out, that it all comes down to what I want from myself. I can only do so much in a day, I can only be so much to so many people. I need to accept myself and the limitations that come along with being a mom.